Saturday, August 8, 2009

Farewell my dear friend...

I am a slave to Face Book. I admit it. FB is so quick and easy, that I can no longer have any interest in posting on my blog page any longer. Do not get me wrong, I have enjoyed creating my entries immensely, but the time has come to completley say good-bye to this ol' pal.

Face Book allows me to post pics and updates much easier than a blog, plus I can see everyone at the same time. No more typing in names or trying to remember their blog page.....FB has saved me the hassle.

I'll see you on Face Book, my dear blogging pals.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.....

Fat Kat knew it was time for his medicine, so he ran upstairs and hid. I found him hiding under our bed. The tell-tail sign was clear......

Monday, May 18, 2009

Kern kernals

I'm going to start backwards, just because I need to get the bad crap out of the way.

Day #3 Race #4

Road race: is a hill climb, as far as I am concerned. Right from the gun, we climbed for almost 20-minutes, until we flattened out for any length of distance. Those short, steep descents, hardly justified all of that dam climbing.

I was told it was 109 degrees in the shade. Good times for me. Not good times, is when I lost all of my GU packets on the first lap. I was getting progressively weaker and did not want to ask for a gel from one of the others, otherwise they would have picked up the pace and then I would have been really S.O.L. I ate 1 pack and planned on 5!

Crossing the finish line, I was beyond depleted of calories, drinking only water on the final lap. The 4-mile ride back to the start seemed impossible, so I had to sit on the side of the road. Suddenly out of nowhere, Bellas surrounded me. Monica rode back to the start and brought back ice water for me (after ROCKING her race!), Liz, literally force fed me several GU packets, Stella watched over me like a mother would, Marian gave me her food, Sue was there pouring water on me and Andrea was on the way to retrieve a car to get me, when Robert showed up in his Velo Promo van, which felt like a Cadillac on the ride back. I barely recall much else, so I apologize if I am missing anyone. Angels? Teammates? Fricking impossible to tell the difference!

Day 2 race #3

11-mile hillclimb: from the start, we were climbing. We had a couple of mountain goats in our group, who set a blistering pace for this 145-lb. girl. The sun felt great on my skin and I slowly started passing other riders on the ascent. I have never passed anything on a climb except for rocks, so rolling by 6 girls was a great motivator.

Day 2 race #2

Circuit race: I really like this course, it suits me well. We had a crash on the first sprint and then three girls tangled handle-bars at the sprint finish......right in front on me. Were they going to topple over left or right? After a moments' hesitation, I bolted around them for a safe finish.

Day 1 race #1

Time trial: my forte'. I felt like a million bucks and love the internal challenge of a TT. The idea of catching the rider ahead of me, is all the motivation I need to keep me focused and powering through. We were let off at 1 minute intervals and I passed one rider and nearly caught up with the next.

I was 10th in my highest stage and finished 15th overall.....crappy final race, fudged it all up for me.

Our team was clearly the best supported, most cohesive, was the largest in numbers (bodies and winnings) and we had the most fun. Thanks to everyone for a spectacular weekend. Without our guys (Tyler, Michael, & Rick) and Erica, our weekend would have been much harder. THANKS!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009


A.K.A. Crap-All-Over-Us

I thought this race was nick-named as such, because all of the poorly patched potholes. Newer layers plopped on top of older layers, mile after mile of rough, bone-jarring road. There was some relief with a nice smooth section, but the road pitches up to a seemingly 35% gradient, so smooth road is of little consolation.

Back to Crap-All-Over-Us. Driving into the starting area, I eye-balled the closest Port-o-Potty, and parked. I had to pee for over an hour, so I ran up the green door, knocked quickly, and flung the door open. There, at the threshold of the entry, was the largest, most disgusting pile of human crap I have ever seen, with my own eyes. I think the person, must have had his ass still out of the door, since it was nowhere near the toilet.

I stepped over the crap and went pee. I kept my eyes forward, but my peripheral vision kept focusing downward to the pile. In those few moments I came up with these assumptions about the assailant...

*It had to be a man
*There was no toilet paper for me, so there was probable no paper for him. He is walking around here, smelling of fresh poo. And if he did have t.p. why didn't he scoop his mess up?!
*He must have not been a cyclist. The sheer volume, told me there was alot of alcohol consumption the night before, along with a helping of chili verde.

As I stepped over the crap and opened the door, there was a guy waiting. As if I had to explain, I told him that I did not make that mess and hurried off...........looking and sniffing every man I passed, wondering who was the mystery pooper was.

Friday, March 27, 2009

These berries are almost as big as Barry Bonds head.......I assume that neither, have used organic and natural substances to maximize their potential.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The ride from a snowy hell.....

Every Wednesday, Coach Felicia prescribes a 40-minute hillclimb at a designated heart rate. This is best done on the "four-lane." For the non-Fresans, this road is an awesome seven-mile climb at about a 10% gradient.

Mistake #1--teaching two spin classes back-to-back
So, off I go up the gradient. My legs were heavy and my enthusiasm was low to moderate. Dark clouds were looming over me, and I was destined to get pelted with hail on my ride. Twenty minutes into the climb and my legs were still heavy and I could not get my HR (heart rate) anywhere near my target.

Mistake #2--self-punishment
I kept hearing, "Loser" over and over in my head. I resigned to the fact that my legs were not going to get any better, so I deserved to be punished for my inadequacies. "I'll go all the way to the top and get a Snickers bar at Cressman's." (Cressman's is a market at the 6,000' mark). This hour climb should be the perfect penalty for not being able to adhere to Coach's directions.

Mistake #3--piles of snow
At the 3,000' level, there was almost one foot of snow along the road. The views were amazing! Drivers would roll down their window, cheering me on. Several, blasted friendly honks. A Cal-Trans snowplow did a double take in his rear view mirror, as he passed me. All of these responses further encouraged my poor decision making.

Mistake #4--crap loads of snow
The ground was crackling under my tires and I believed this to be ice. I kept plugging along, knowing that the Holy Grail was around the corner (the Snickers bar). Once inside Cressman's, the store owner remarked how dangerous it may be going back down the four-lane. I bought the King-Size Snickers and cracked off a corner of the frozen reward. I grabbed the Penny Saver newspaper and shoved it into my jacket. Thirty-two degrees mandated several issues.

Mistake #5--f**king freezing decent
Since there was so much slush on the roadside, I kept the brakes on, going no faster than 15 mph. (usually, I can fly down at 45+ mph) The cold was biting. Miserably friggin' cold!! My patooties were frozen and my fingers were the coldest I have ever experienced. This was the worst punishment I could have inflicted on myself, since I thrive in the 100+ degree weather.

Back into my warm truck, I blasted Kid Rock on the way home, thinking, "Denise you are not a're one tough chick!"

Monday, January 26, 2009

Facebook vs. Blogging

Denise is eating Fruit Loops.
Denise is thinking of changing her profile pic.
Denise is riding on a sunny, Fresno day.
Denise is relaxing after teaching spin class.

Do you see a pattern? This is Facebook. Quick. Easy. One liners. No brains. No thought. Most of the thinking involved, is when replying to someones Facebook posting. Still, it can be accomplished in a nano-second.

Blogging is much more complex--and time consuming. First, I create an entire entry around a photo.

#1 get photo

Then, I need to do the writing for the photo. I love to write, do it well, and can create ideas quickly (when required). The time consuming aspect is in the creation of the dialog.

#2 creating an entry using proper English

I need an "Introduction" in my writing; something that will capture the audience.

Secondly, creating the "Body" of my blog entry is a timely process. This is the meat and potatoes of my story. We know the basic sentence structure must have a noun and a verb, but there are adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, participles, and active vs. passive writing, and the list goes on.

Finally, the "Closing" of my blog entry must be constructed in such a manner that my readers will be satisfied when the story is over. Have you ever sat in a 3-hour movie and the ending did not meet your expectations?

SIGH......this is why I have not been blogging as frequently, as I have in the past. If you want to see what is going on in my life, written in fragment sentences, here is my link: